Salam and Hi,
Today is Wednesday. And I’m suppose to share some insights that I gained through my personal experience. Now, the last three weeks or so, I got substantial experience on friendship. I must write this so that you won’t make the same mistake and for me to heal from it.
Before I write anything, I just want so say, “Condemn not the past, but use it as strength for the future”. I must write this too to remind myself that this is not a post to bash people but as part of my self refection.
The title is something that I picked up from my colleague at work. I find the statement true enough for me. In life, I’ve met a lot of people and those who stayed, I made them my friend. Some, I even categorized as my best friend, something that I never did back in primary or high school. The truth is I was afraid that once university life is over, I have no friend to be acquainted with. So it happened, I had a lot of friends at school, but almost no acquaintance.
So I had a few real close friends and best friends. Two things happened. Firstly, in the process of making them my best friends, I failed to see that they, not necessarily think the I’m their best friend. Despite the privileges and special considerations I made for them, since they do not think of you as what you think of them, I ended up putting too much expectations. At the end of the day, when they didn’t meet my expectations, or perhaps give an equivalent treatment to me, I was very disappointed.
I was hurt of course. When they prioritized other people over you (because you expect them to be your best friend), you are hurt. When they ignore you or disagree with you, you were angry to them, that kind of thing. They were very helpful and kind to me definitely, but due to some misunderstandings, I forgot their goodness and marked them as betrayer of my trust. They are not, It is just me living my fear. I let the fear eat me alive.
Secondly, I’m becoming too dependent and lost focus. I remember studying alone at school many years ago. How I was so determined to master the knowledge, how was persistent in asking the teachers even after class hours, and how I was so enthusiastic to be the best in what I did. I looked out the window and saw my friends playing sport. I told myself, that is their talents, god give you a different one, you are sharpening your talent here, in the class. Now do that next question.
Last time at university, I studied mostly to help my friends to understand stuff, or to prove myself that I can understand this too. All I did was for my friend. Again, the fear. I started enjoying life as in too much leisure (something I will oppose in joining back in high school years). Paintball, ice skating, eat out daily, movies, go to holidays. I thought that when I spent time with them, they will finally take me as their best friends too.
Apparently I was mistaken. There are no specialty taken. I’m still just another friend to them. In the process too, those who really took time to think my point of view, my concerns (could be my best friend, but I failed to see) was neglected. So, I was like picking the wrong fruits much like choosing a wrong investment.
Today I realized, my personal dream was neglected too. My innovative and self-passion to be what I like to be in the future were lost. I also was less connected to god, and fall to the whispers of Satan. Overall, I was weak emotionally and spiritually. I depended on my ‘best friends’ for happiness. I was indeed wrong.
So, my advice to you dear readers, people come and go, whoever stays is your friend. But who stayed really? It is your family. So, go back to your family and make them happy or solve their problems. Make sure each of them gets your full attention.
When I see my brother, who I grew up with, never complains when everyday he has to send me to work, I realized that I can rely on my family. Many things that had happened to me. Many problems that I had faced in my life. Those who will always be there, every time is my family.
I was wrong for seeking a bond that is fragile and forget another bond that was forged forever. Even in heaven, families can meet each other. 
P/S: Just be good to people. Forgive them like you want god to forgive you.
