The Real Kitou Aya. (Pictures from her diary that she wrote since 15. The diary was sold in million copies and is the main reference for the drama series ONE LITRE OF TEARS)

Today, I found my ways through the lecture notes of vector calculus. Next, week I will be having two exams; Introduction to Petroleum Geoscience and Vector Calculus. Late in the evening, my focus seems to fade. I tried feew refreshments yet failed to get my mood again. It was raining heavily outside. Wind and thunder work themselves, instilling fear in the hearts of pitiful souls along their path. Suddenly, I felt sad. I do not know why, but sadness of some sort cloud my emotion and mind.

I had to stop and break away from my laptop. I have tried listening to music, and even watch a few videos to regenerate my fighting spirit but nothing worked. So, I went to the door with my wallet and keys along; I need to eat. That, is what I usually do when stress comes in. (Actually I'm really hungry because I skipped my lunch and breakfast.)

At, 5.30 pm in the evening I am not really sure weather it is lunch or dinner. As I was about to pay for my food, I was looking at the cloudy sky and sadness once again burried deep in my emotion. What is this?

The lady casher uttered the price. Yosh! Why it is so expensive? I asked. She said that is the price. Nothing more, nothing less. Then she asked, how much is my scholar per month? I said RM 500. I thought she was trying to makign fun of my like " You got RM 5oo per month, still argue about the price ka?"... I was annoyed initially but then she said something that changed my view of myself, what I have and what others have for their own. " You are lucky, my salary is less then your scholar".

My heart sunk. I was speechless and deep down I pitied her. Although, it was said lightly, but somehow it stroked my soul completely. The lady in front of me, of 4 decades of life, definitely have a family to take care of and yet her salary is less that my monthly scholar? She lived. She survived. She can. And the most important of all she values what she has and never complained about it. AM I NOT BEING THANKFUL ENOUGH?

Was this the sadness that I felt? The sadness that I see, only in myself, only about myself. That I was not being thankful of what I have. Loving family, caring friends, and a comfortable life. That is probably the sadness that I felt.

At my desk, back from the cafe, I tried to find something made of sadness that I can remember. That I can learn from. So that I can understand unfortunate people and realize the things that I have. As I surfed through DC++, I say a folder named One litre of tears. I remembered my friends persuading me to watch this drama series, but back then I kinda not like it. Now, I felt that I must take a glimpse at it. I know that this story is very sad through my friends stories and comments.

So, I randomly downloaded the 5th episode. Here, Aya, the diseased character, has started to experience the effect of her illness. She began to lost her ability to walk. What touched me was the end part of it where Aya confessed to her siblings who have no idea that her disease is incurable. Her youger sister, expressed her feeling that she do not know what to react.

She was shocked by the confession and her hopes for her eldest sister to recover was shattered. She really do not know how to react on this but her father gave me the words that I will never forget ( I hope).

Their father replied. It is easy. What you have to do is very easy. He then asked, what we do when your friends are in trouble. We lend them a helping hand. It is same here, we are a family. We help each other.

I was moved by this phrase. Yes, we help people in trouble. Especially our family members. By studying we are helping ourselves, our family and our friends. So, minna san gambatte kudasai!

Here I sharing the OST lyric for One litre of tears.

On the opposite coast of sadnessIs something called a smile

On the opposite coast of sadnessis something called a smile

But before we can go there,is there something we’re waiting for?

In order to chase our dreams, we can’t have a reason to run away

We’ve got to go, to that far away summer’s day

If we find it tomorrow, we can’t sigh

Because like a boat that opposes the streamwe have to walk straight on

In a place worn down by sadness something called a miracle, is waiting

Yet we are still searchingfor the sunflower that grows at the end of spring

The warrior who awaits the morning lightbefore he can clasp it with red nails, his tears glitter and fall

Even if we’ve grown used to lonelinessonly relying on the light of the moon

We have to fly away with featherless wingjust go foward, just a little further

As the rainclouds breakthe wet streets sparkling

Although it brings only darkness

A powerful, powerful lighthelps push us to walk on

KEPADA ALLAH KU BERHARAP...AGAR TULISAN INI BERFAEDAH DAN MENDAPAT GANJARAN DARIPADA-NYA.

Ada seorang pemuda yang lama belajar di luar negeri kembali ke tanahair dengan angkuh dan sombong. Di dalam benak kepalanya telah lama tersimpan 3 pertanyaan yang dianggapnya tiada siapa yang boleh menjawab.

Satu hari beliau bertemu seorang imam tua di kampungnya.

Pemuda: Pak imam apakah boleh menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan saya?

Pak Imam : Saya hamba Allah dan dengan izin-Nya saya akan menjawab pertanyaan kamu!

Pemuda: Pak imam yakin? Profesor dan banyak orang pintar yang saya tanya tidak mampu menjawab pertanyaan saya.

Pak Imam: Saya akan mencuba sejauh kemampuan saya, insya'Allah.

Pemuda: Saya ada 3 pertanyaan

1. Kalau benar Tuhan itu ada, tunjukan kewujudan Tuhan kepada saya?

2. Apakah yang dinamakan TAKDIR?

3. Kalau syaitan diciptakan dari api, kenapa mereka dimasukkan ke neraka yang dibuat dari api,tentu tidak menyakitkan buat syaitan, sebab mereka memiliki unsur yang sama. Apakah Tuhan tidak pernah berfikir sejauh itu?

Dengan sepontan Pak Imam tersebut menampar pipi si Pemuda itu dengan amat kuat.

Pemuda (sambil menahan sakit) : Kenapa pak imam marah kepada saya?

Pak Imam : Saya tidak marah...Tamparan itu adalah jawapan saya untuk 3 pertanyaan yang awak tanyakan kepada saya.

Pemuda : Saya amat tidak faham...??

Pak Imam : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?

Pemuda : Tentu saja saya merasakan sakit dan pedih...!!

Pak Imam : Jadi awak percaya bahwa sakit itu ada?

Pemuda : Ya....!

Pak Imam : Tunjukan pada saya ujudnya sakit itu atau macam mana rupanya?

Pemuda : Tak boleh pak imam...!!!

Pak Imam : Itulah jawapan kepada pertanyaan pertama awak, kita semua merasakan kewujudan Tuhan itu tanpa mampu melihat kewujudanNya.

Pak Imam : Adakah malam tadi awak bermimpi atau telah tahu saya akan menampar awak?

Pemuda : Tidak....!!?

Pak Imam : Apakah awak pernah terfikir akan menerima sebuah tamparan dari saya hari ini?

Pemuda : Tidak....!!!?

Pak Imam : Itulah yang dinamakan TAKDIR!

Pak Imam : Terbuat dari apakah tangan yang saya gunakan untuk menampar awak ini?

Pemuda : Kulit dan daging...!!!

Pak Imam : Terbuat dari apakah pipi awak itu...?

Pemuda : Kulit dan daging....!!!??

Pak Imam : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?

Pemuda : Sakit dan pedih....!!!?

Pak Imam : Itulah...! Walaupun Syaitan terbuat dari api dan Neraka terbuat dari api, Jika Tuhan berkehendak maka Neraka akan jadilah ia tempat yang menyakitkan untuk syaitan....walaupun sama unsur asalnya...!!

Pemuda : Allahuakbar!

"ISLAM KAN TETAP DIJULANG WALAUPUN IA DITENTANG..ITULAH JANJI ILAHI"

Alangkah terasa hidup sia-sia..Ruang fikiran hanya dengan ilmu dunia, Alangkah ruginya usia yang pergi..Jika amalan bukan untuk alam abadi.'

KEPADA ALLAH KU BERHARAP...AGAR TULISAN INI BERFAEDAH DAN MENDAPAT GANJARAN DARIPADA-NYA.

Salam and Hi.

I just came back from the vote counting center. It looks like this is not our moment yet. From 1535 votes we managed to garner 951 votes placing us in the sixth place. The first place won by Umair, second place belongs tu Muid, third place belongs to Ain, 4th place belongs to Abg Hanif, and Jenani took the 5th place. I whole-heartedly wish them good luck and all the best inleading this university in the next term. You guys faught bravely and I admire the courage and leadership in all of you.

To all My3forAll, thank you for all you hard work, motivation and spirit. This might not be our moment yet but never give up. The spirit of UTP Neighbourhood will never fade and the desire for change will never die. We might be the starter of awareness and an even bigger revolution, who knows. This might be one Acap falling, but more Acaps will emerge in the future. Just believe in my word. We will be helping them next time. To all voters thank you for completing your role in this election. This is your right and it is your responsibility you have done it well.

To the 951, I will always remember your votes, and despite what other people said, you voted for me. I am in debt with you guys. I will remember, this are the voices that wanted renewal in this university. I will always hold you in my heart to continue my fight in the future. This 951 will be my ornament in my fight for what is right. I will still submit my manifesto to the new MPPUTP HICOM 09/10 for their considerations.

Lastly, this blog will remain as a justification of the new voices in UTP. It will remain as long as there are people like us who are still fighting.

Till then readers.

KEPADA ALLAH KU BERHARAP...AGAR TULISAN INI BERFAEDAH DAN MENDAPAT GANJARAN DARIPADA-NYA.

The place where I fought the misconceptions of Sisters in Islam

Alhamdulillah,

With Allah's blessing tonight is a very challenging and most interesting night...I have always believe that the path of leaders is very hard and only the bravest of heart and the purest of soul can survive to become the true leaders...

I came to the magnificent Chancellor Hall, with the heart determined to tell the world the change that I want to bring...

I got a question from the floor tonight which I love to answer but the time is upon me..A friend of mine who help me to become the funniest figure during my FTN night, asked me a very pertinent question....what is your vision, or it means WHAT CHANGE I WANT TO BRING...

My answer is a story of my step to become a leader...

Ever since I was foundation, or perhaps in school I has always been running away from being a leader..I have the feeling to help people in need, to listen to their problems, to pump my sweat to help those around me in education, poverty and development..I cannot stand looking at a my pitiful colleague whom scholar has been terminated..he eats rice once in a week, I cannot stand looking at my friend in hospital..with sick face facing the hope of living or the terror of death...This is not just my words...I write this post with my heart...

Later I made up my mind to become a leader to help others, I want work something that is not for me, I want to be a leader who can be down to earth, who have no lavishness of living but still respected for strong beliefs and hard work..I still walk to classes from v1 to pocket C no cars (just my friend afiq hanafi who is always generous to gift me a lift), I want to feel the nothingness of worldly possessions like Rasullulah, Abu Bakar, Sultan Muhammad Al-Fatih...

I eat once a day although I can have more, just to feel what people feel...Kak Hani, it is always in my blood...I cannot run away..my choice to contest in this election is because I want ALL UTPIANS TO UNITED AND LIVE HAPPILY IN A NEIGHBOURHOOD....

For that, I propose to reconstruct MPPUTP because I believe that only a strong leadership lead by great leaders can bring prosperity and unity to this university...this will then translate to harmony and trust among us and we can fight any injustice done to us...but right now, people less appreciate and respect their leaders..I pity MPPUTP as an organization...lots of our great leaders are hindered in it....I want to change that...

I believe that proper and ensured education future will help boost the students of what they pay for..they pay with their time, energy and money..their education...I want everyone of UTP students to gain as much as they can in their university life...the danger of changing towards research university is upon us all..I see this and we need to fight to ensure that our education which secures our career in the future...

I want to see that my friends to appreciate this university and love it..for its foundation...for its facilities, for its environment and for its memories so that when they come out of it they will held their heads high and be proud of this university...therefore, their welfare is to the utmost important...robbery increasing, CM is affecting students life....we are at common threats...As a leader I cannot sit down and relax...i have to continue the fight of the former MPPs..this is the sacred vow that I made once I joined the rakan Exco..and now to potray my strong belief I take the challenge to join this election..

You must know, that I stand alone, without any backup from any organizations..just me and My3forall...we are young and brave enought to take on other bigger names and bigger organization...we want a healthy campus politics ...not a planned question and answer session, not a provoking but constructive fight among candidates...not a cowardly play of praising before a question...

Thanks to abang bakri, abg hidzir, abg awangku, kak farhani and kak husna all ex-exco who had taught me a lot in the ups and downs of UTP students and the way to be a true leader..they will be my great teachers of leadership of all time...

So in the end Kak Hani,

I hope that I can answer you well..I tried to catch you before you go out to clarify things you want to understand...but somehow I lost you in the midst of many people shaking hands...

Sorry, because you are disappointed about my answer back there in the CH..but never be disappointed because one day if I meet you again I will explain to you personally and I hope you will understand that my course of being a leader if for everyone and including you..

Till then Kak Hani, thank you for being sincere in your questions..I know that I'm young and might be inexperienced...but I have dedicated my live for leadership..I have read hundreds of books on leadership, I have produced articles in leadership even one reach UTUSAN Malaysia...I have acted in many position as leaders, fighters..I have won many battles before but I also have lost a few battles...just give me a chance to prove myself you will never be disappointed in me again...

KEPADA ALLAH KU BERHARAP...AGAR TULISAN INI BERFAEDAH DAN MENDAPAT GANJARAN DARIPADA-NYA.

Empat golongan lelaki yang ditarik oleh wanita ke neraka


Pertama:- Ayahnya

Apabila seseorang yang bergelar ayah tidak memperdulikan anak-anak perempuannya di dunia. Dia tidak memberikan segala keperluan agama seperti mengajar solat, mengaji dan sebagainya. Dia membiarkan anak-anak perempuannya tidak menutup aurat.. tidak cukup kalau dengan hanya memberi kemewahan dunia sahaja maka dia akan ditarik oleh anaknya.

Kedua:- Suaminya

Apabila seorang suami tidak memperdulikan tindak tanduk isterinya. Bergaul bebas di pejabat, memperhiaskan diri bukan untuk suami tapi untuk pandangan kaum lelaki yang bukan mahram, apabila suami mendiam diri.. walaupun dia seorang alim (solat tidak tangguh, puasa tidak tinggal) maka dia akan ditarik oleh isterinya.

Ketiga:- Abang-abangnya

Apabila ayahnya sudah tiada, tanggungjawab menjaga maruah wanita jatuh kepala abang-abangnya.. jikalau mereka hanya mementing keluarganya sahaja dan adik perempuannya dibiar melencong dari ajaran ISLAM.. tunggulah tarikan adiknya di akhirat.








Keempat:- Anak Lelakinya

Apabila seorang anak tidak menasihati seorang ibu perihal kelakuan yang haram dari islam, maka anak itu akan disoal dan dipertangungjawabkan di akhirat kelak.. nantikan tarikan ibunya.



Maka kita lihat betapa hebatnya tarikan wanita bukan sahaja di dunia malah di akhirat pun tarikannya begitu hebat...maka kaum lelaki yang bergelar ayah / suami / abang atau anak harus memainkan peranan mereka yang sebenar tidak silap firman ALLAH S.W.T.:-

"Hai anak adam peliharakanlah diri kamu serta ahli kamu dari api neraka, di mana bahan pembakarnya ialah manusia dan batu-batu.."

Hai wanita, kasihankan ayah anda, suami anda, abang-abang anda serta anak-anak lelaki anda... kesiankanlah mereka dan diri kamu sendiri.. jalankan perintah ALLAH S.W.T. dengan bersungguh-sungguh dan dengan ikhlas..

Akhir kata, marilah kita berdoa agar kita semua terselamat dari ditarik dan tertarik.. oleh mana-mana pihak. Harga seseorang muslim adalah sangat berharga. ALLAH S.W.T. nilaikan seseorang muslim dengan SYURGA.. semua kaum muslim masuk syurga.. janganlah kita membuang
atau tidak mengendah janji ALLAH S.W.T.


Semoga kita semua tergolong dari ahli syurga yang memasukinya tanpa hisab. AMIN..... YA RABBALALAMIN.


KEPADA ALLAH KU BERHARAP...AGAR TULISAN INI BERFAEDAH DAN MENDAPAT GANJARAN DARIPADA-NYA.

Last weekend was a very exciring one for me...my first time BP style debate...So cooked up in Asian style debate..trying a totally new format and strategy, it has a challenge of its own...anyway it was only me and Izzat Fauzi participating...Nasty naz (haha..name given by a foreigner) tagged along with us...showing support for her dearful hubby ijat..haha...

4 preliminary rounds with motions of all sorts of fields (I dislike controversial issues such as pornography and burkha a.k.a face veils..)...

another thing, i did my assignment during the breifing and roll call sessions..haha....i guess people might say "poyo la bdk UTP ni, bwt thermodynamic plak time debate"....haha..whatever...i need to finish it anyway...today is the test!!!!!!!!!!!!....(then why I write this post?...study2!!)